Monday, July 7, 2008

Landscape sword

As you know from the previous post, our room mate died. Bill got piles of junk mail, and as it comes in I have been contacting the companies to have him taken off their mailing list. He got a lot of army surplus and knife catalogs. So I was online to one of the sword catalogs , and then ended up buying something.
I do a lot of medieval illustrations for a company called Columbia Games. So I thought I would buy myself a Viking sword, as it was on sale. Laura my wife takes a lot of photos of me posing for these illustrations, and I usually just hold a yard stick for the sword, but figured the actual thing, or at least a cheap Chinese reproduction of the actual thing would be nice.
Then I got to thinking, how awesome it would be if I just wore it all the time? Well, it would be pretty cool I think. I could at least wear it when I am landscape painting. I could use it to point at the scene to be painted, to trim down canvases, to hack my way through the underbrush, as a maul stick, and most importantly, to fend off all of those people that want to come up and tell you about some cousin they have that paints. I bet they would be reluctant to bring their kids up to see my painting and interrupt me if I had a three foot long sword in my hand.
So, anyone taking my landscape painting class, should consider buying the sword.
I am attaching a photo of the weapon and a fictional reenactment of how totally bad ass I will look painting with the sword in my hand. Cool huh?
I am counting the days till my sword arrives.


Dave said...

Now I can get all my Ninja weapons out of the closet and join yer painting class.

Tiffany said...

A landscape class with both swords AND ninjas would almost be worth braving the summer swelter.

Throw in a pirate or a killer robot, and I'm there.

Anonymous said...

Richard, have you ever considered exploring Performance Art? I think you may be well suited for it. This art form utilizes props, costumes and even strange outbursts.
Just something to consider.

Anonymous said...

I eagerly await your next blog. The one about what it feels like to be tasered in the park and thrown into the back of a police cruiser :)


Daniel said...

Nice! Just think you can use your new sword to mix paint, pin down a canvas on a windy day and trim your brushes!

Anonymous said...

Come to think about it, a sword would make a sweet palette knife - plus would be great performance art at the same time. Picture it now...The artist dressed as a knight scoops up a pile of paint with his sword and scrapes it artistically across the canvas. The slash he inadvertantly makes through the surface gives his admirers a thrill and adds to the value of the piece. I like it, I like it!